What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Dad Assumed Tingling in His Hands Was Just Pins and Needles. Days Later, He Was Paralyzed: ‘Had to Sleep with My Eyes Open’ - AOL.com

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why does my mom never wear underwear?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Can anyone or anything overthrow your belief in the Jewish God?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Earth is Eating Itself: Vast Chunks Of Crust Are Being Swallowed From Within - The Daily Galaxy

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

How is digital marketing important for business?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Billy Joel Attempted Suicide Twice and Fell into a Coma After Affair with Friend's Wife. Why He Wanted to 'End It All' - Yahoo

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Astros Announce Major Trade With Rays After Yordan Alvarez News - Athlon Sports

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

How Many Burgers Are Too Many Burgers? Here's What Health Experts Advise. - HuffPost

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why don't the 'West' realize that the solution to the conflict in the Middle East is to end the "unlimited" support for Israel, and finally listen to the grievances of Israel's neighbors for a 'change'?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

SpaceX adds 27 Starlink satellites to constellation after successful launch from California (video) - Space

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!